~~ULKC SWIMMER X-FILES~~

Everything trip related goes here, everything related to on-the-water stuff.

Moderator: Rian O Connell

User avatar
Connie Collins
Insert Rank Comment >Here<
Posts: 101
Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2016 1:02 pm

r/AccidentalRenaissance
cc tm bh 12
+353 87 63 555 83
User avatar
ThomasNash
Na na na na na na Nash Nash
Posts: 186
Joined: Fri Sep 16, 2016 8:45 am

Name: Nash
Date: 20th October I think
Location: The Claw, Crana river
Shitty excuse: I was at Cranafest lapping the claw in an rpm when I went a little too far right off the first drop then said fŭck it and took the right line and got stuck in the bottom hole, ended up surfing in the hole for a few minutes until i decided I couldn't be arsed anymore popped my deck and swam
Emotional Issues arising from the event: not much really
Persons requiring rescue pints: yah some lad at the side I've him promised a pint if i ever see him again
Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence) Idone it later that day along with the fŭck up funnel for breaking the slalom boat some one surely has a video
Haha bitch, now I'm just here to break shit #noresponsibilities
User avatar
TomOBrien
Preposterous amount of posts "Preposter-Post"
Posts: 253
Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2015 11:20 pm

Name: Tom Senior

Date: Second last day of paddling Week 3 italy

Location: Top drop on the egua

Shitty excuse: After convincing everyone the the duo was a necessity for the Alps, myself and Aidan took every opportunity to ensure its use. After much deliberation and some consultation with some Gene17 coaches we got the go-ahead. It was decided that I would sit in the front because Aidan already injured his back so it was my turn to injure something. The run was going so well until the water got involved. My tuck was useless and as soon as we came down, the water yanked at my paddle and decided to take my shoulder too. After a few seconds of having a really long right arm, it corrected itself and I bailed. 

Emotional Issues arising from the event:
 We'll see what the x-ray says.

Persons requiring rescue pints: Whoever managed to empty that duo deserves a medal.

Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence): No photographic evidence but it was witnessed prior to kangaroo court.
I think what you're trying to say is "Why aren't I wearing a jumper?"
User avatar
Keith_OBrien
Yeah I got a few posts
Posts: 235
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2016 2:27 pm

Some back dating to do I think.

Swim One:

Name: Keith

Date: Some time in the past (before Cranafest)

Location: Flesk

Shitty excuse: Being really hungover from the party the night before and paddling the brick that is the Rival, I decided to do little bit of freestyle on one of the first rapids. Beginning with a nice tail ender, into a splat followed by a "reverse freewheel" into the cauldron. Happy with my attempt at down river play I decided to roll up, but alas after several (shitty) attempts I couldn't roll the Titanic back up. Held out for a bit smacked my head and ejecto seatoed my way out.

Emotional Issues arising from the event: Deep phobia of Titanic Rivals

Persons requiring rescue pints: I believe Nash somehow managed to barge the Titan using the Club Titan. (Clash of the Titans maybe?)

Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence): Necked a can of Rockshore from Howie's car outside some poor sods house. There's a vid somewhere on someone's phone.


Swim Two:

Name: Keith O'Brien

Date: Some time in the past (same day as above)

Location: Roughty

Shitty excuse: Following on from this mornings beatering on the Flesk we decided to get the Roughty in also. Still being shaken from earlier I hauled the rival to the get in, after nearly getting crushed by the brick I took a breather before getting on. Paddling down the river I capsized in what was nothing because I'm shit. Went for one roll got nowhere so I was like "fook tis" I'm out.

Emotional Issues arising from the event: An even deeper phobia of Titanic Rivals and an inability to paddle for the remainder of the year.

Persons requiring rescue pints: No idea I was swimming

Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence): Necked a can of Rockshore from Howie's car outside some poor sods house. There's a vid somewhere on someone's phone. (Yes the same can as above)


Swim Three:
Name: KeItH o' BrIeN

Date: St. Paddy's weekend 2019

Location: Clare Glens (Little Eas)

Shitty excuse: On what was our 3rd maybe 4th lap that day fatigue was setting in but the urge to get as many laps in as possible was enough to keep me going (or so I thought). Coming from Big Eas we eddied out above it's little brother. Dropping down the right line was the safest bet so dropped down. I had momentum pushing me left when I was coming off the second lip so I had a brain fart moment and took a right boof sending me into the edge of the cauldron. I tried to battle the inevitable pull back but it just snook up on me, pulled me around and I attempted to side surf my way to freedom! But the nose thought it saw something shinny below and dived to get it bring me too. Beatered around upside down for a while saying high to all the lost paddles. Even did myself a shitty little back-loop. At this stage I felt myself going a little blue and with my paddles being ripped from my hands I popped my deck and went for a swim. Unfortunately, my boat want to help save me but instead I hit my head off it before being pulled down and given one last spin cycle before popping up down stream.

Emotional Issues arising from the event: Nothing really just a lot of water in my lungs.

Persons requiring rescue pints: C-Lowe with the rope and being the dope-on-the-rope to get my boat

Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence): Pretty sure I did one at the take out if not probably at 7 (cuz I aint no pússy bícth). Probably. Everyone has videos of everything these days.


Swim Four:
Name: Aqua Man

Date: Friday 16-8-19

Location: Clare Glens (again)

Shitty excuse: Bit rusty and after getting a bit fat from working in an office the RPM probably wasn't the best decision. After getting down 1 lap I was fairly unhappy with how I was moving. Everything was sloppy so on the second lap I tried a little harder. Coming off Big Eas I attempted to find that sweet little boof spot just left of the chimney. Instead of boofing I went Aniol on it and found myself in a cobra flip of some description. Landed hard on my side and had to part ways with my paddle momentarily for fear of loosing my shoulder to the impact. A bit still an sore from this landing I decided left line little eas would be a good shout (spoiler: It wasn't). Coming off the first lip I was happy pushing myself right, but I hit these weird hard pointy brown things that slowed me down and put me going side ways. I put in a right hand boof to correct myself but ended up plugging it and getting pushed into my old friend, the cauldron unfortunately this time he had company in the form of a pointy tree in there with him. After receiving some unwanted advances towards my boobies from the tree I decided I was time to leave but the tree insisted I stay grabbing my paddles from me. Thankfully at this stage my wing-man Conor saw the unwanted advances and roped myself and my boat out of there. After recuperating on the bank for a little I doped up and went in for round two with the handsy tree and gave it a piece of my mind (mostly with kicks to the xylem) while retrieving my paddles.

Emotional Issues arising from the event: I'll never look at a tree the same way again, perverts!

Persons requiring rescue pints: Who else but Conor L again

Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence): Strained a nice can of Carlsberg through my shoe outside of 7, no more than an hour after getting off. Video posted to S/C.
*Disgruntled moaning*

+353 879972550
[email protected]
User avatar
Darraghlehane98
Insert Rank Comment >Here<
Posts: 145
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 11:13 am

NAME: Darragh
DATE: 9th of August
LOCATION: Upper Bandon
SHITTY EXCUSE: It was my second lap after work and I had gotten as far as double drop no bother. We eddied out before double drop and scouted it. I decided I would take the chicken shoot. I started off by fairying across but hit a rock and lost all momentum. I was way in the middle of the river going over the first drop. Too center for both lines. I was side surfing the hole for a few seconds before it fŭcked me. I tried to hold on until I got washed out but after hitting my head a few times I decided fŭck this. I pulled my deck and soon after I resurfaced coughing up a lung.
Emotional issues arising from this event:
My lungs were full of water.
Rescue beer:
Owed to Adam and Naoise Kennedy
Booty beer:
Not done yet. Had to drive home
More importantly I'm from Caaaaaaaaaaaark.
User avatar
Peter_Walsh
S.P.
Posts: 301
Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2017 10:43 am
Location: The extended pale (Kilkenny)

Darraghlehane98 wrote:
Thu Aug 22, 2019 11:27 am
NAME: Darragh
DATE: 9th of August
LOCATION: Upper Bandon
SHITTY EXCUSE: It was my second lap after work and I had gotten as far as double drop no bother. We eddied out before double drop and scouted it. I decided I would take the chicken shoot. I started off by fairying across but hit a rock and lost all momentum. I was way in the middle of the river going over the first drop. Too center for both lines. I was side surfing the hole for a few seconds before it fŭcked me. I tried to hold on until I got washed out but after hitting my head a few times I decided fŭck this. I pulled my deck and soon after I resurfaced coughing up a lung.
Emotional issues arising from this event:
My lungs were full of water.
Rescue beer:
Owed to Adam and Naoise Kennedy
Booty beer:
Not done yet. Had to drive home
This entire post is a spelling and grammatical nightmare.

Definitely requires you to do another booty beer.
If you can style a rapid but you can't run it upside down, you haven't really run it then, have you?

Image

Phone: 0892558367
Email: [email protected]
User avatar
Eoghan_ODuffy
Na na na na na na Nash Nash
Posts: 153
Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2018 3:37 pm
Location: Probably on a river somewhere

Name: Eoghan O'Duffy
Date: 31/12/20
Location: Clydagh
Shitty excuse: Got cocky and threw a paddle spin while going down the big slide on the clydagh. Flipped due to having my paddle above my head and not being able to brace. Knocked my paddle off my face breaking it in two so had to pull my deck to try save what was left of my paddles. Had to self rescue and paddle the next few rapids c1 style till we came across another group that had a pair of splits.
Emotional Issues arising from the event: Loss of my lovely Werner Surges :(
Persons requiring rescue pints: Timmy Ryan for being the only person nearby to pack a pair of splits
Swim Bootie Y/N (Evidence):
Image
Phone: +353862292877
+353874258961
Email: [email protected]
fiacoghlan
Polo Officer
Posts: 72
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2021 3:06 pm

Name: Fia Coghlan
Date: 29th of december 2021
Location: Upper Carragh
Shitty Excuse: Went up to the last rapid with fighting talk "Don't need to scout it, I'll catch an eddie be grand." Little did I know the eddie was about 1 inch deep. Got a beached, did a little wiggle, lost my paddle (I borrowed from jill,) then went into first hole with a savage hand boof, to when I saw the second. fŭck. Got chundered.
Emotional Issues Arising from the Event: I lost simon's sling :( The emotional anguish of losing something of simon's is enough for me to right my fighting talk ways.
Persons Requiring Rescue Pints: Are these a thing? fŭck off, no one owes me shit for rescuing and visa versa.
Swim Bootie: It was done before the flesk and clydagh the next day x

Name: Fia Coghlan
Date: 31st of december
Location: Roughty
Shitty Excuse: Well, we went on low/ med, and then the river gods gave us a midday lash. There was a good sup on it (btw such a pickling fun river.) Whatever the left stroke one was, mcgarigle got munched in the hole, and me being a great friend, boofed onto her and hit her out and me in x. Fought for a little, decided nah, turns out I was out and all. fŭck sake, sure look
Emotional Issues Arising from the Event: Seeing ciara haunted as a dropped in x
Persons Requiring Rescue Pints: Aoife hanarahan I suppose
Swim Bootie: I fia always repays her debts. Done before the glens x
Post Reply